new england evergreen trees covered in snow and snow covered landscape

herbal blends and sensory memory

how we go to the words text in white over a background of evergreen trees covered with snow

I love to walk in the woods. Mary Oliver has a poem about how she typically goes to the woods alone because she doesn't want anyone to see her singing with the birds, and hugging the trees. She writes that if you’ve been to the woods with her then she probably loves you very much.

K and J are the girls I go to the woods with. We’ve been meeting at these trails, early in the morning, since, I’ll guess March. These ladies and our time together have become such a meaningful part in my life. They grew up with my husband and in a way I feel as if I’m growing up with them too. At Least, when we're in the woods.

I wake up before the sunrises, while the coffee is brewing, I roll us some joints. This feels like a sacred event. It's so early that being mindful is all that’s available, you know what I mean? Grab the papers, find the grinder, and make two decisions: which flower and which herbs. This particular morning I chose a familiar flower and our herbal blend: Lavender Liftoff. I should have mentioned it snowed the whole day before and we had been talking about a snow covered hike since summer ended. This was it. 

I leash up the big dog and whisper “bye mama” to the little one as I shut the door in her face. This time we’re meeting at a trail that’s about a 25 minute drive for each of us. We talk about how today we shouldn’t hug. I can't remember if it was because one of us was feeling off or if one of us was exposed to a possibly sick family member. The dogs greet each other with no worries about the Pandemic. 

This hike is about 4 miles, there's a picnic table placed by a clearing next to the frozen pond, probably a mile and a half into the hike. We kick the snow off the bench, K reads us poetry and we smoke our joints. This space is safe. Safe to sit in silence/ safe to sing with the birds. This particular snow covered morning was special, I’m wishing I could better express the feeling but I can’t. It’s a feeling, it lives in my heart and my brain doesn't understand how to translate it. 

We continue the hike, my fingertips are numb and the taste of minty lavender is still on my tongue. We talk about how difficult it is to pee in the woods with all these layers on. We also talk about how learning and growing is probably the point of life. These are the friends that understand my hesitation to use the word God. A thought about how maybe these woods are my church runs through my head. We keep walking, the sun is kissing our faces now and the snow crunches under our feet, it’s kind of hard to hear each other.

We start seeing more hikers as we get closer to our cars. Each one smiles or waves as we pass. Sometimes on these hikes I’m surprised to see other people, we get so wrapped up in our experience with the woods, I forget that these trails are here for all to enjoy. 

I get home and prepare for a full day of planning my future company with my dream team. We have a team video call after lunch and after that we’re meeting a few towns over to view a building we can’t yet afford.

The team call pumps us all up. The building walkthrough goes well too. I’ve had my part in building a business before. This is different, this is something we need to thoroughly plan because this is something we need to take on investment for. It’s also different because I’m different. I’m ready.

That night, as we pull away from the perfect building that we can't afford, I spark the rest of that joint from this morning. As I inhale, I could cry. The minty lavender smoke reaches my mouth, and right away- I’m in the woods. I’m grounded and surrounded by trees and friends and sunlight from a new day.


  1. The Mary Oliver poem I mention: How I Go To The Woods, from Swan 2010
  2. Lavender Liftoff DOES NOT contain: cannabis, thc, tobacco, or nicotine. 
  3. The statements made regarding these products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). this product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. the safety and efficacy of these products have not been evaluated by the FDA or confirmed by FDA-approved research. please consult a healthcare practitioner if you are pregnant, nursing, or taking any medications before using this product.
  4. Lavender Liftoff sold by Rebis Blends is intended for use only by individuals 21 years or older.


I love this post so much. It’s beautifully written and I was hanging on every word. Keep is up sis! You’re going places 💚🦋


I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.


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